


Waiting For the Confetti to Fall

by WhoknewZeus



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: AU as Hell, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Ambiguous sexuality, Boys Love - Freeform, I might change the summary later on honestly, I wanted to play around with my writing style, M/M, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, ambiguous jobs, angsty halfway through it, angsty tbh, it's also very experimental, subtle smut, this took forever to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 19:49:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10838193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoknewZeus/pseuds/WhoknewZeus
Summary: Running around in circles, it's only a matter of time before you get caught by the tail.Kyungsoo hates to admit that the joke is on him when he chooses to fall in love with his tall-as-a-building best friend. Following through the long ride of emotions, he discovers that he really doesn't want to see the confetti fall when it's over.Falling in love is easy, but staying in love isn't.





	Waiting For the Confetti to Fall

**Author's Note:**

> I really meant for this to come out earlier and less, well, angsty. Sort of. I just thought this story would be short, but my mind decided to make this so fucking long and now it's just gonna hurt. It'll still have happy and goofy things here and there tho. No worries! I did my best to keep things flowing as possible, but please do enjoy my first Chansoo fic!
> 
> Warning: The story is quite large, so I assume you guys reading this is ready to get into this fic. This is also pretty raw, so Idk when I will edit it, but still attempt to enjoy whatever you guys can!
> 
> EDITED: I finished mainly correcting most of the errors in the story. I never said that I did them all, but I'm not aiming for perfection. Any questions you have about the story overall, please let me know at the end!

There is something about Chanyeol; this gravity-pulling aura, which can drive you to the brink of insanity if you think too much about it, that is so overwhelming and occurring very naturally to Chanyeol as a baby likes to cry for food or attention, which Kyungsoo also has figured out, apparently. It is the overt fact that when hanging around this dark copper-haired giant is that one would inevitably encounter things, objects or items to be specific, gracefully falling around this man like confetti. No matter how much the awkward man wants to avert his eyes and look upon something else, he can’t resist the power that surrounds Chanyeol.

 

Kyungsoo, in all of his twenty-four years of life, laments over his own long time friend because of this common knowledge. He never would forget how he has seen too many times the giant being in the right places at the right times.

 

The first time  Kyungsoo noticed this was while walking through the school’s shiny gray gates mid-summer of last year, Kyungsoo could see Chanyeol minding his own business as he was seated on a bench in the courtyard, trying to compose a new music sheet for a song he was making the past two weeks. Kyungsoo was approaching closer, ready to greet the giant, before two scurrying students bumped into each other, causing their notes that were tucked neatly in their binders to take flight.

 

“Wow,” Kyungsoo subconsciously mouthed as he watched Chanyeol look up with a confused and innocent face to the falling papers that rained over him like confetti. Through the hundreds of pages of notes, Kyungsoo remembered seeing Chanyeol smiling happily afterward as if God told him personally that he was loved. In the next few seconds, Chanyeol’s eyes looked over to Kyungsoo and giggled to himself and waved to him.

 

Of course, Chanyeol being Chanyeol ended up helping pick up every single page and returning it to its respective owners. But still, Kyungsoo can say that nothing in this world can ever tell him that his heart was not beating faster than it should be that day. The love bug certainty bit him where it matters, but it isn't like he wants to curse it for doing so.

 

When fall came around, the vibrant colors of summer disappeared, transforming into arches of brown and orange leaves across campus. In a far quadrant of the school, Kyungsoo was attempting to find Chanyeol to study together one afternoon, but he had no luck in catching the said friend. “This idiot,” mumbled Kyungsoo, admitting that he was not one to wait around for someone to stand him up.

 

“Soo-yah!” A loud clamor caused Kyungsoo to regret being friends with someone as loud as him. Chanyeol was not too far away, but he was hiding underneath a huge pile of the fallen leaves. Honestly, it looked hilarious when Kyungsoo recalled the memory of Chanyeol’s pure face poking out of a bundle of brown leaves but keeping the rest of his body amazingly hidden underneath.

 

“Should I even dare question this?” Kyungsoo had to ask, as if the phenomenal was a mystery waiting to be solved, smiling from ear to ear because it was a scene that was impossible to frown at.

 

“Nah, now watch this!” Chanyeol stated, shaking his body side to side to cause the bundle of leaves to shimmy with him, pulling a horrible imitation of certain musician’s voice, “Shakira! Shakira! Oh, baby, whenn ya takk like dat!”

 

If Kyungsoo was not bending over and rolling on the floor before, he was now. He was unable to contain his happiness inside of him, exploding in fits of laughter to fit the scenery, which was the reaction that perfectly satisfied the other student’s intention of looking goofy. Incredibly, it almost looked like Chanyeol was nothing but a living mass consisting of decomposing matter, or if in Chanyeol’s self-description (‘I am the fall monster!’), and Kyungsoo was unsure if his life could get any better than this moment.

 

However, it _could_. Once the running gag played served its point, Chanyeol jumped up and threw his hands in the air, yelling, “Ta-da!” It was raining leaves over the two of them. So much of it cascaded that it made Kyungsoo wonder how much leaves were actually piled together. In the season’s traditional colors, it poured over around Chanyeol like, well, Kyungsoo could not better describe besides _confetti_. The more he sees this thing happen, then the less he becomes immune to it because it stirs the melting pot of emotions in his heart perfectly. Just exactly as the first time something like this happened, Kyungsoo swears on every god out there that he could see everything in slow motion. He saw the same luminous pearly white teeth shine in the sun, copper hair glowing in the light rays and those eyes that only looked at Kyungsoo in a way that engulfed his soul and brought him to a meadow of flowers. It all made him believe that he could grab the embodiment of human joy in front of him.

 

If Chanyeol told Kyungsoo that the world was ending in two minutes, there was not a single doubt that the shorter one would instantly believe him because he trusted the taller one with his entire life. With Kyungsoo’s heart swelling like a wet sponge, he needed to squeeze it all out because when all the pieces of fall were on the ground, he would still be caught in a daze at Chanyeol before the taller one would snap him back to reality. “Let’s study, yeah?”

 

“Of course,” Kyungsoo said sheepishly.

 

Winter played its role to fairly snow to bring out all the romantic couples on Christmas day. In case Kyungsoo never stated it before, he absolutely was not one to stand in the cold. He was already a cold person to everyone that wasn’t in his small group of friends, so how dare this weather, this season to try and match his attitude. An awkward nickname that Kyungsoo received from Chanyeol was (insert appropriate adjective) Penguin. It would not be mentioned, however, until the winter season came rolling in.

 

“Hyung,” Chanyeol jokingly stated, attempting to make a horrible imitation of Porky Pig’s voice, “Ch-ch-cheer up, it’s Chr-Chr-Christmas.”

 

“Shut up, you’re older than me, remember?” Kyungsoo spat, knowing that his empty threats would never harm the impenetrable fortress of positivity that was Chanyeol. “Let’s hurry up and eat, you asked me to accompany you on this fucking cold day because your date stood you up.”

 

“Ah, my little grumpy penguin, I wish you would never leave my side,” Chanyeol pulled Kyungsoo into his long toned arms, nuzzled him until the shorter one was fuming in his layer of jackets and sweaters.

 

“Ump wahdnt (I wouldn’t),” Kyungsoo muffled his voice through the thick wool sweater that the giraffe of a friend was wearing. Settling with intimate touches, it would be better to not risk anything and play the game as safely as possible for Kyungsoo to protect his bumpy yet timid heart. After getting inside of the restaurant, which was awfully packed, and miraculously received a table, a state of wonder left Kyungsoo mindless at what to order from the menu that Chanyeol had to do for the both of them.

 

People chattered about their life problems, consumed in basking in their two minutes of importance amongst themselves. They would shoot their food with their phones to document their life and how lavish it was in comparison to those that were not out on this lovely Christmas day. Kyungsoo heard it all, and he despised being stuck in such a horrible and cramped place. It made sense to him that Chanyeol would bring his date to a sickening place like this.

 

Spending only an hour eating and contributing to the meaningless conversation about the politics of Pokemon battles, Kyungsoo was sick of the public already. He luckily was able to eat something simple, a steak cooked medium-rare and mixed vegetables, thanks to Chanyeol ordering for the two of them. He could not exactly say it was fancy, but he could say it was enjoyable and felt almost genuine to sit down across from Chanyeol and admire the darling view.

 

Paying for the bill and leaving the shop, the two walked into the lightly snowing night as Chanyeol agreed to walk the shorter man home. It was silly, honestly. To be walked home by a tall and handsome young man. It brought a crimson shade to his cheeks to think it was all real… then it happened again. The snow falling over Chanyeol’s head as he was smiling like he was the luckiest guy on Earth reminded Kyungsoo how much he adored the taller friend. Innocence and bliss embodied in one handsome Korean man. Damn…

 

They stopped by a bus stop and hopped on the vehicle when it approached them. They sat in the back seats that were farthest away from all the people waiting in the front. No one seemed to want to sit near them, but it was not like they were being ostracized for anything. It was purely coincidental. Kyungsoo hated that he would get food coma after eating well and yawned openly. The wide mouth surprised Chanyeol but could only chuckle in response, prompting one arm over the shorter man’s neck and giving him permission to take a nap on top of his armpit.

 

Kyungsoo didn’t fight the other man about it, so he simply obliged and closed his eyes to dream softly of his secret hopes and desires.

 

* * *

 

Another delicate time that Kyungsoo recalled was when he was going through a phase of depression. It was not like he hated his life, wished vengeance on the people that cursed his life and sent them thirteen tapes to attack them after he killed himself. It was nothing _that_ absurd. No one significant in his life died yet. Not his 82-year old grandma and grandpa. It wasn’t even anything related to school or being bullied. He hated that he wish something tragic happened to him to justify why he was depressed to make it easier for people to empathize with him, but the reality was that there nothing to justify it. If there was another way to rephrase the answers ‘I don’t know’ or ‘nothing’, then he would openly say to people that ask him for why he was depressed with, “I’m depressed because I am, and there really isn’t a reason to explain why I have it. And that’s okay, too.”

 

He was planning to stay home and watching his favorite TV drama series, but he was unmoved by the actor’s attempt at drawing human emotion from him. He blankly stared at the most crucial scene: a really great supporting character was dying and everyone was gathering around to try to keep them alive. It should have worked, forced Kyungsoo to accumulate a crap ton of tears, bawled his entire emotions out, and prepared him to see what would happen next in the next season of the show.

 

However, it didn’t work at all.

 

He was losing his appetite lately, and he should go take a shower for the sake of hygiene. But it was difficult to feel any reason to do any of it all. He refused to text anyone to not bother them on how he felt because his depression carried a lot of unwanted stigmas. “I just want to lay down and eat ice cream and look at the ceiling,” sighed Kyungsoo.

 

Ding. Dong. The doorbell signaled to Kyungsoo that he had an uninvited guest. He checked to see on the monitor as to who was there. “Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo spoke in a baffled manner through the intercom.

 

“Surprise!” Chanyeol yelled loud enough for Kyungsoo to hear it from where he was inside of his apartment. It reached a high decibel that the younger man feared that his taller friend would disturb all the neighbors. The last thing on his mind was to get a noise complaint and be forced to move out.

 

Once Chanyeol made himself at home, Kyungsoo wandered to his room to go back to his bundle of blankets and warmth. Of course, it wouldn’t be Chanyeol if he didn’t ask a single question as a way to initiate a conversation. “Let’s go out today, Soo-yah.”

 

“No, I can’t,” Kyungsoo pulled the covers over his head and pretended to be asleep. As if he could anticipate the following questions, he answered them before Chanyeol could say them, “No, your puppy eye tactic won’t work. No, I don’t want to go out because I’m just not in the mood. And finally, I don’t know what’s wrong with me for me to feel this way.”

 

“Well,”  Chanyeol was at a lost for words, which was ironically funny because he never had trouble finding the right adjectives, nouns, and verbs to bring people around. “Is there anything I can—I mean, is there anything _you_ need? What does Kyungsoo need right now?”

 

Kyungsoo greatly appreciated the gesture, and he poked his head out of the blankets to look at Chanyeol’s warm eyes. Thinking that maybe he could taste those sweet lips, he shook the gross thought out of his head and told the other man nothing. Okay, maybe he could open up a little bit about himself, “I think I’m depressed, but I’m not entirely sure. I would like definite answers about what I’m feeling.”

 

“Okay, how about I get you to a professional and see what they can do. If you can follow through with it, I promise to do anything you want to do today,” Chanyeol batted his eyelashes as if it would convince Kyungsoo to agree. Hesitantly, Kyungsoo allowed himself to get involved in the compromise.

 

After spending most of the day trying to get answers for how Kyungsoo was feeling, he got home with a white bag with prescriptions for Kyungsoo to take to help with the depression. Fortunately, he came to an available professional and was able to talk in detail about what Kyungsoo’s depression was. The kind doctor told Kyungsoo to come back if the antidepressants weren’t working, so the doctor could prescribe a different medication to mitigate and deal with the disorder.

 

“I just want to thank you for being by my side, first of all,” Kyungsoo heartwarmingly mentioned to Chanyeol as he hugged the tall man. He exhaled and inhaled as if the world around him was suddenly fresh. It did go to show that his mood was definitely getting a boost somewhere. He would have to take his medication eventually today, though. But it was okay as long as Chanyeol was technically by his side for the rest of the day.

 

“No problem, as promised, I’m all yours to boss today,” Chanyeol happily stated, leaning against the kitchen table as Kyungsoo was craving something to eat.

 

Kyungsoo’s stomach held back a grumble in his stomach to look sweetly into Chanyeol’s eyes and ask, “Order and buy me chicken?”

 

“Okie dok.”

 

“With a Coke?”

 

“Of course!”

 

“Foot massage?”

 

“Uh, I suppose.”

 

“And my neck too?”

 

“Right after I wash my hands from massaging your feet, then I will.”

 

“Watch stupid dramas with me?”

 

“Why not? I got nothing else to do today.”

 

“Don’t ask me too many useless questions also.”

 

“Roger,” Chanyeol laughed at the list of requests that Kyungsoo was piling immediately. It was not like he minded doing any of them because he wanted to let his best friend know that he wanted to be a supportive and awesome friend to him. “Anything else?”

 

“Uh,” Kyungsoo tapped the bottom of his chapped lip with his skinny and short fingertip. He hesitantly wanted to say something, but he was unable to convey it easily. Realizing that Chanyeol was the most convenient person to talk to because he reminded Kyungsoo a lot of a puppy, he opened his mouth, “and can you please sleepover tonight?”

 

“Ah, yes, yes, anything for my Kyungsoo-ya!” Chanyeol exclaimed, pulling the other man, despite Kyungsoo making a futile retreat, into his arms and nearly using his python-like strength to squeeze the breath out of the shorter man. “Cute, so cute. Ah, Kyungsoo-yah, why you gotta be like this?”

 

“Please… let… me breathe,” Kyungsoo was losing his consciousness over the extreme external heat that the giraffe-like friend was producing.

 

A whole 12 episodes into a historical drama, which Kyungsoo was shamelessly rewatching only because he liked the series and because Chanyeol had never seen it before,  he wanted to drink the Coke that was stored in the fridge for this exact necessary moment. “Yeol, get me my cola please,” Kyungsoo lazily commanded.

 

“Pause the show then,” Chanyeol got up and traveled to the fridge and retrieved the nicely chilled two-liter bottle. He looked at his expensive watch on his right wrist to check how much time elapsed during their binge watching. Spontaneously, as if gravity stopped working for a split moment, he tripped and watched in pain as the closed bottle bounced all over the floor.

 

Kyungsoo turned his head over his shoulder to see what the commotion was about. “Are you okay, Chanyeol?”

 

“Y-yes! I’m good… but our soda doesn’t,” Chanyeol agonized over the bottle as it fizzed and turned a lighter and bubbly texture than it was originally supposed to be.

 

Kyungsoo physically rolled his eyes and wondered why he was still friends with someone that defied the laws of physics. He was certain Newton would drop all his theories after seeing Chanyeol in action. If there was something that could combat the clumsiness that Chanyeol had, it was the underlying fact that Chanyeol had a tendency to not move an inch during a dramatic event until it was deemed safe. You ever saw those videos or clips in a movie of a walking deer in the middle of the road at night before it sees the headlights that were heading in its direction? Kyungsoo could verify that Chanyeol had the same identical expression. It was clear to Kyungsoo that he needed to do the honors of trying to disarm the loaded drink.

 

As he picked up the bottle and hovered the object over the sink, he eyed at Chanyeol, who stood next to him in anticipation for the fireworks, and changed his direction and irritatedly stared at the wall as if there was a camera there recording him like in The Office. Slowly turning the cap, Kyungsoo closed one of his eyes as he noticed the hissing sounds escaping the devil bottle. As he released more of the pressure, the cap was forced out while a volcano of Coca Cola soda erupted into the air. Chanyeol, being the protective type, pushed Kyungsoo out of the way rather lightning fast and was the only one to suffer the might of the Coke.

 

Falling ever so slowly, as if time failed to move forward with its regular scheduling, Kyungsoo witnessed the gentle giant get drenched in a rain of soil-brown soda. He would never admit it out loud that the way Chanyeol got drizzled on made his heart jump up, down, diagonal, and into another dimension. Chanyeol stuck his tongue to lick his lips, retracting the pink muscle back in his mouth to get a taste and satisfyingly letting out an ‘ah’ in the air. Kyungsoo followed the same ‘ah’ reaction as he was dazed by the taller man’s overall beauty and presence.

 

In all of Lady Luck’s fortune, Chanyeol was happy to know that it did not explode all of the two-liters to allow him and Kyungsoo to drink the last remnants of it in peace. Of course, he had to shower afterward.

 

Kyungsoo felt bad that he was not soaked in the slightest by the drink, but he really didn’t want to be a sticky mess. So it worked out in some sense. It was evil to think that way, Kyungsoo shamelessly knew. Nonetheless, he acknowledged the honor of Chanyeol technically ‘saving’ his life, so he would gladly offer the last two pieces of the fried chicken to the hungry giraffe.

 

Friendships were about communication and compromises, anyway.

 

* * *

 

Spring called forth the storm of floral bloom, petals upon petals of seasonal flowers overriding most of their senses. Kyungsoo remembered wanting to see the cherry blossoms stand proudly in its grace and beauty after being dormant. There was a section of the town where people gathered to see the said trees in season. He went alone because he didn’t need to always go to places with company. It would be lonely, but Kyungsoo was used to his loneliness and kept it under his control.

 

After riding the bus and trying to pass through the billions of people crowding the sidewalks, he was able to finally reach his destination at the park where the cherry blossoms were located. Only cursing that he got here earlier, which was not his whole fault because he wanted to abuse the only day his professors decided to give no homework and sleep away longer, he shrugged and held tightly to his Nikon camera to ensure that he would not lose it.

 

Since he went alone and not with a group, he had an easier time finding a spot near the center of his desired trees. There was a total of 15 trees in bloom, and it was raining pink petals everywhere. The cool breeze pushed the rosy colored objects through the air and filled the sky with wonder. Kyungsoo laughed to himself as he found himself seated between two cherry blossom trees, pouring its pinkness on him.

 

His mood cleansed itself from any pressures that the world forcibly placed on his shoulders, and Kyungsoo breathed easy for once in his life. However, he was the type of person that could get bored quite fast. Sure, the flowers were stunning, the children’s laughter all around gave him an air that he could enjoy, the breeze was smooth and cool, and the small snacks that he brought in his handy backpack to munch on. He ate a few crackers and sandwiches to pass the time, but he could not help but let his mind wander to the thought of what Chanyeol was doing at this moment.

 

Now that Kyungsoo had a look at his surroundings, he noticed a copperish redhead that caught his attention and made him think that the person really, vividly reminded him of Chanyeol. The person’s back was facing Kyungsoo, so he couldn’t assume right away if it was really his best friend or not.

 

Call Kyungsoo nosy but nothing was going to stop him from confirming his suspicions. He patiently waited for the right time for the person to turn their head to the side to show their frontal face. A half-finished sandwich in his hand, Kyungsoo chewed sporadically to pay close attention to the Chanyeol look-alike. Taking note of the beautiful girl that sat next to the redhead, Kyungsoo could not help but build jealousy inside of his swelling and aching heart.

 

Simultaneously, his mood depleted like a balloon. The grass was green, but he did not see it in the same vibrant color, and the cherry blossoms were magnificent, yes, but they were aging and losing its grace the longer Kyungsoo kept feeding his jealousy. Maybe it was a sign of fate that it was time for Kyungsoo to… no, he was not going to let his mood go down a dumpster. He had to hoist his chest and puff out big breaths, then he should keep his chin up and be happy for everyone on this beautiful day. The awkward fellow was going to enjo— “Well, fuck my mood with an elder cactus.”

 

A gust picked up the fallen petals and made it rise into the air and orchestrated a dance in mid-air, causing the people to ‘oh’ and ‘ahh’ at it. It also picked up the attention of the certain redhead that Kyungsoo was observing to look straight into the sky with a careless and free smile, giving Kyungsoo full-access to the side view of the supposed stranger. In reality, which Kyungsoo quickly wanted to escape from, the person ended up really being Chanyeol and he looked happy as he should always be.

 

It was not like Chanyeol belonged to Kyungsoo because the only person that was entitled to Chanyeol was Chanyeol himself. It could go vice versa about Kyungsoo, but he could not help but feel like he was too adjusted to Chanyeol being single. His world crumbled apart, but he forced a smile, no matter how much pain it caused his muscles to commit, and he nodded to himself that it was goodbye to hope.

 

“I wish you, although not seen by me, to be happy,” Kyungsoo whispered to himself, knowing his words would never reach his taller friend. Of course, the dent left in his heart was imprinted, but perhaps he could survive this and fake it until he was able to get over his petty unrequited feelings. That was until the wind that made the petals danced stopped, causing the pieces of spring to fall over exactly in the area where Chanyeol was before the red haired man leaned closer to the woman and had their lips touch romantically. The armor on his heart was stripped entirely, defensive walls smashed into thousand of pieces, and his self-esteem took a big hit to the ground.

 

All he wanted to do was leave, and Kyungsoo did so in a hurried manner. It was the last time he physically saw Chanyeol.

 

Memories are beautiful things to keep, but it can lead to an ugly sentimental mood that can depress someone. In Kyungsoo’s case, it is something that he sees as a downer. A few weeks with a bang from the gun, a flag comes out from the smoking barrel to tell the world that it has been confirmed that Chanyeol is no longer on the market. The Facebook cheers and likes only adds to Kyungsoo’s dismay as he sits alone on his couch with his laptop on top of his coffee table.

 

“Ai, I don’t want to feel this way towards his happiness,” Kyungsoo scolds his pettiness and loneliness at the smiling happily picture of Chanyeol and his new girlfriend. He wishes that he can say something like how she was not the physical representation of Birth of Venus; or the few top students at their University, or that she lives a boring and plain life. However, Kyungsoo can only hope for his jealousy to eat the better of him because she really was all of those things he mentioned.

 

In retrospect to Kyungsoo’s distraught mindset, he figures that he was only talking about how he was not as breath-taking as a famous art piece or have the brains to back up the ugly truth that he isn’t exactly a fun person overall. His shortcomings in comparison to this woman only make him look desperate for Chanyeol’s attention and affection, which isn’t what Kyungsoo intends to do to himself but is not something he can precisely control either. He shouldn’t even compare himself to another person because it will only bring his self-esteem down.

 

When the brain and heart want something that it can’t have, then the person knows that he or she is utterly and sloppily _fucked_.

 

Even though he hasn’t seen Chanyeol physically, he occasionally gets a text or four from the taller friend every day. Subconsciously, the darkness that lingered inside of Kyungsoo continues to penetrate through his weakened mind, which inevitably carries over to how the awkward epitome of a human-penguin would talk to his best friend. Texting Chanyeol has never been so difficult, even keeping Kyungsoo’s interest has become a needle in a haystack because he can’t find it in himself to bear how much Chanyeol brags about his girlfriend.

 

Choosing to ride out the frustration, Kyungsoo momentarily pauses to look away from his laptop, giving himself a break from his conversation with Chanyeol. However, the vibration from his phone forces Kyungsoo to accidentally see all the notifications that contain Chanyeol’s messages about his tremendous, spectacular like a broadway musical relationship. Out of spite, Kyungsoo begins to imitate Chanyeol’s voice horribly and childishly, “Ah, she’s so this, Soo! And can cook this! She helps me with this! Ah, Kyungsoo, I’m so lucky. She can do this as well! She’s…,” Kyungsoo sighed, tired of playing the pitiful joke on him and his feelings, “perfect.”

 

He puts the phone down gently on the meticulously sewn fabric of the couch, and he stands up, stretches, looks at how early the time is, dresses appropriately in black shorts and a plain white tee, and he gets out of his apartment to go running. Actually, he sprints around the neighborhood for a good ten minutes, wears himself out, and he stops to rest on the first bench he sees. The freezing morning makes Kyungsoo teary eyed, but he laughed dreadfully if the reasoning was enough to fool him to think that it is the _only_ reason why he’s like that.

 

Getting up to greet the elderly people that pass him by, bowing respectfully, he proceeds to continue his jog, metaphorically pouring cement in all the cracked streets of his mind. He reaches a state of peace with the wind slapping common sense back into his head. Working out is a great alternative to fighting off unwanted feelings and getting exercise at the same time. Sadly, the moment he reaches home after two hours later, he cranks the hottest temperature in the shower that his body can handle and dips his cloudy thoughts with the steam.

 

“Kyungsoo, you asshole of a friend,” he admonishes himself for not being upfront about his feelings towards Chanyeol, water splashing and dripping his body simultaneously. People are real living contradictions with how they speak to others, saying one thing but really meaning another. If he just told the truth, he honestly could get the tension he has in his heart for Chanyeol to be disposed of properly without a lot of repercussions.

 

He closes his eyes and tries to think of a good memory of Chanyeol to counteract the growing rancor he’s holding for the giant. Of all the flashbacks he has with the copper haired man, he carefully picked up the sight of him and Chanyeol walking back to his apartment and crossed into a street alley as a shortcut from their path. Under a small lamp that hovered over them to provide them a fluorescent light, Kyungsoo wanted a photo of Chanyeol to preserve the moment, which the taller one agreed to do without a doubt.

 

Lining and fixing his hair up, Chanyeol posed in a cute manner, toothy grin that was sugary sweet combined with a small dimple. It really shot a large arrow into Kyungsoo’s heart at that time. The second Kyungsoo tried to take the photo, the lamp flickered and then shattered, causing sparks to literally fly down upon the puppy giant.

 

Instantly scared by the accident, Chanyeol cursed and then backed into Kyungsoo’s side. Deeming the area safe, Chanyeol asked if the photo came out right (‘ _Soo-yah! Did I look good?_ ’), Kyungsoo slid his phone back into his pocket awkwardly (‘ _No. I didn’t take it_.’). Obviously, Kyungsoo lied about it because he caught the snapshot of his best friend absolutely perfectly when the light broke. The mildly dark background with the sparks that were blurred to the point that they resembled fireflies swarming through the night and completed with a puppy-faced Chanyeol.

 

It was love on a phone screen.

 

* * *

 

If love is a game, then Kyungsoo is purely playing to lose. Why would he do that, though? It’s probably because Kyungsoo is actually a sadist and wants to hurt his heart over and over for shits and giggles. Maybe he just was a hopeless case of unfilled romance that will never bloom into a tree or bear fruit. He lays on his couch and let the same hopelessness filling his stomach like the terrible cough medicine that he forced himself to take earlier. One sniffle after another, he swears getting and being sick is equally as troublesome as Chanyeol.

 

He plans to stay at home for a day or two to get his health back to shape, cluttering himself with empty delivery food boxes, where regret would meet his stomach on the unhealthy choices of food to digest when sick. Normally, Kyungsoo would keep his living place as neat and organize in case of guests, usually, the uninvited ones, comes over. He also does it to keep his living standards the way he wants them.

 

It was only 10:27 am, so he had the time to indulge in his relaxation. He posts a quick snap for his story on SnapChat to show the few people that follow him that he is not going to be doing anything special on this glorious and bedridden day. Satisfied by the post, he puts his phone down and goes back to nonchalantly lazing on the couch, losing all his will to do something mildly productive. Beyond the binge watching on Netflix of bad horror movies, he hears the doorbell and thought how early it is to have someone over. In actuality, the time was 5:03 pm, but Kyungsoo obliviously walks over to the door and opens it without checking the monitor to see who was behind it. Perhaps being sick limited a lot of his senses.

 

Upon opening the door carelessly, he is greeted by lengthy arms that embrace the living soul out of him. He smells a fruity scent on the person’s clothes, something akin to green apple and strawberry, and quickly registers who the person really is. “Ah, Clifford, you returned to me, you giant red dog,” Kyungsoo blandly jokes as he pries himself out of Chanyeol’s death-grip. Upon looking at the ground where Chanyeol’s left leg is, there is a white large plastic bag filled with what Kyungsoo assumes was food that you give to a… sick person. Ah, right. He was, is, this sick person. “You brought me food?”

 

“Yeah! Of course,” Chanyeol said, all too bubbly for Kyungsoo’s comfort. “I just want to take care of my best friend as he would do the same for me!”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Kyungsoo deadpans, not bothering to fight someone that is a little over six-foot and can cry easily. Those all equate to headaches, however, he had to admit that Chanyeol overall is a migraine waiting to happen. “They often say in the animes I’ve seen that idiots can’t get sick. I guess they’re right.”

 

Chanyeol gasps at the rude comment, closing the front door and locking it to prevent the possibility of a robbery ( _You’re welcome, asshole_ , he mutters under his breath), and he exaggerates his pronunciation, “You wouldn’t even be into anime if I didn’t get you to binge watch them with me!”

 

“Aissh, okay, okay, quiet down,” Kyungsoo mumbles, or maybe he is grumbling too, sliding his feet across the floor back to his wonderfully lazy couch. He begins to rub his forehead, making the slight pain to relax rather than throb.

 

“Sorry,” Chanyeol puppy-eyes the other man as he takes seat casually next to his sick best friend, “I really didn’t mean to be loud.”

 

“Park, please,” Kyungsoo glares at Chanyeol with death hiding in his eyes.

 

“Okay,” the taller friend bowed with half his body, bending like those wooden toys of birds pecking the ground back and forth.

 

Silence sits with them and watches the show that Kyungsoo is absorbed in earlier before he was interrupted. It kind of made the awkward man chuckle inside because he secretly predicts how long it will take before Chanyeol cracks under the stillness and decides to initiate a conversation. He puts his bets on ten minutes or less. However, the answer comes out to be an hour later after Chanyeol stands to stretch when they finish a hilarious showing of Sharknado 3.

 

“Okay, Kyung-ya, time to eat the food I brought.”

 

“No… no, wait, actually, what kind of soup you brought?’

 

“Rice porridge with chicken. I even brought a separate bag of chopped ginger because I heard it was good for a sick body.”

 

“Ah, okay. You know where my bowls and microwave are. Knock yourself out.”

 

“What am I? Your employee?”

 

“Chanyeol?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Shut up.”

  
“Okay.”

 

There was a time that Kyungsoo thought was funny that happened between him and his tall and visually appealing best friend. When the shorter one made fun of Chanyeol’s ears, he was ignored for a whole month, which was unnecessary because there was a group project in the one single class that they shared, but they still worked together to get their A for their petty but hard work. It was truly a lonely month of solitude to Kyungsoo, though he had to admit. Fun happened to heavily associate itself within Chanyeol’s dynamic.

 

It was not until Kyungsoo was tired of living mundane and desperately needed a loud-mouthed, sensitive hearted, whose laughter seemed contagious and everlasting, free-spirited Chanyeol to invade his personal space, cause mayhem over the organized life that Kyungsoo softly held. “I, Kyungsoo Do, apologize to you,” Kyungsoo formally stated, distasteful in his tone. It was the most sincere emotion that he could pull from his thorny heart, so he hoped that Chanyeol could understand that it was not something he usually did, this apologizing thing.

 

“Aww, and here I thought the wizard never gave you a heart.”

 

“A what?”

 

“Uh, a heart? Y-y-you know, from the Wizard of Oz? The movie? The music—”

 

“I know what you’re saying, but why would you bring that up?”

 

“I just thought it reminds me of you a lot, and, and I should just stop talking now.”

 

Kyungsoo laughed goofily at his friend’s superficial pain, “Smart choice.”

 

Bringing himself back to reality, he opens his eyes to see the white china bowl with a cheap plastic spoon sticking right inside in the left corner. The steam ghosting over the air as if Chanyeol is using the microwave to summon forth spirits. Kyungsoo observes from his laying position the way the puckered lips would hover over the soup and blow ever so gently, afraid that if he uses too much force that it will create a mess over Kyungsoo’s coffee table. “You really don’t have to go this far,” Kyungsoo mutters, closing his eyes to rest them because he could feel it being sore again. To more important questions, how did he get sick again? And why was he in love with his best friend? There could have been other contestants, but no, fate likes to string him together with somebody that's not only been in most of Kyungsoo's life but also somebody that puts checks in all the empty boxes of his standards for potential lovers.

 

“No, I _want_ to,” said Chanyeol, his low pitch register going deeper than usual, captivating Kyungsoo’s attention and heart strings.

 

“D-do whatever you want,” Kyungsoo stops trying to further the conversation, letting it fade like the blush on his cheeks. Or was it because of his fever? Either way was fine.

 

Drawing the spoonful of the cool porridge, thanks to Chanyeol’s endeavor to make it edible and warm as opposed to being piping hot, he brings it to Kyungsoo’s lips. “Say ahh, Kyun—”

 

“Park, do you have a death sentence today? Don’t treat me like a baby.”

 

“Geez,” Chanyeol shoves the spoon into Kyungsoo’s mouth, his expression going soft when he saw the sick man licking his lips after tasting how delicious the soup is. Dangerously risking himself to cross a boundary that has police tape saying ‘Do Not Cross’, he swipes his thumb over Kyungsoo’s chapped, jagged lips, knowing that the weather, and sickness, was causing the penguin-of-a-friend to lose moisture in his body.

 

It occurs naturally for them to be close, and it’s this proximity that makes Kyungsoo flinch a moment afterward. It freaks out Chanyeol at first, and he’s prepared to throw his prayers in the air and conjure up a list of excuses to mumble, but Kyungsoo beats him to his words, “Sorry, uh, the soup is delicious, by the way.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Disregarding the strangely intimate moment between them, Chanyeol continues quietly feeding Kyungsoo, who is enjoying himself being treated as royalty, and it could have remained this way if it were not for a certain someone’s girlfriend calling him. “Sorry, I’m just going to the bathroom to take this call.”

 

Kyungsoo weakly smiles, knowing that it’s a package deal for those two—can’t have yin without yang. He nods, but not before he sighs first, and allows Chanyeol to scurry along in zigzags.

 

As he stated before, if love was a game, then Kyungsoo was playing to lose.

 

“I have to go now,” Chanyeol exits the bathroom, making his presence known to the sickly friend, “I promise to come back tomorrow to check up on you.”

 

“Don’t bother, just go,” Kyungsoo coldly mentions, no longer bearing to have his eyes strain on Chanyeol a second more, forcing himself to start another movie from his recommendations. In his darkest corner of his mind, he wants to cry aloud to Chanyeol to stay and help him heal, but perhaps he should not let himself become a problematic person that way. He has to let Chanyeol be Chanyeol, and if it includes Kyungsoo in it, then he will gladly accept, but if not, then he can't change nor argue that.

 

“Bye,” Chanyeol said, almost close to a whisper, unable to catch Kyungsoo’s ears.

 

* * *

 

He checked his phone beforehand and only added to his bad mood when the notifications on his phone were blank.

 

Kyungsoo was working out again, continuing his morning runs through the neighborhood after he recovers from his sickness. He walks at first, giving himself a slow start, then he jogs softly, not feeling satisfied over the discontent in his heart, and he finally runs through the streets at a great speed. Then he stops, wiping away the tears in his eye, whether it was from his frustration or the cold stingy air, he didn’t care, and he takes huge breaths to fill his lungs with oxygen.

 

Satisfying himself, he gives in to the cool air again, lightly jogging through the park entrance. He stops at the same empty bench at the park nearby, as he usually did, and he contemplates as he ties his loose laces on his shoes again. “Stupid Chanyeol. Who the hell makes promises that they can’t keep? I prefer you not making them then!”

 

If Chanyeol had not said anything about coming back to check, then Kyungsoo would have been practically fine at this moment. Instead, he’s swallowing the bitterness into his already miserable stomach over the fact that Chanyeol never came by to his apartment like he said he would. Kyungsoo had looked through his phone to find the multiple texts sent from the giant friend that he was unable to come because of this reason, and that, and blah, blah, blah.

 

“So troublesome,” Kyungsoo mutters angrily, promising that he was going to find a man for himself and not a boy. He wants someone stable, handsome, tall… and he’s realizing halfway into his thoughts that it still went back to describing Chanyeol as a whole. Kyungsoo slaps his face repeatedly, causing the nearby joggers to worry if he’s okay, and he starts to run again.

 

As he crosses the park’s fountain, someone purposely stands in his path, which is a mistake because Kyungsoo’s already trained on trying to complete his run without caring too much of his environment. What Kyungsoo was expecting was the two to crash and bump heads and fall to the floor, but he’s unaware of how tall the idiotic stranger is. Instead, Kyungsoo smacks face-first into the man’s muscular chest, and there are arms wrapping around him from the biceps to the back, then Kyungsoo’s lifted off his feet and spun in a complete 360. After completing one cycle, the force from Kyungsoo’s running pace is still going before it is promptly stopped thanks to stranger’s quick thinking of bending him backward while simultaneously pressing his chest against the stranger’s.

 

Kyungsoo pauses and takes one quick look at the stranger’s face and laments over it, “Chanyeol, what are you doing?”

 

“Saying hi,” the goofy smile greets him tenderly, frozen in time as he holds Kyungsoo closely.

 

“Um,” a voice that belongs to a familiar female calls out to them. They were oblivious that the positioning they were in made them like like the ending pose of a heated salsa dance where the man drops but holds the lady inches from the ground, and they lean close enough to look like they want to have a raunchy make-out session. “Hello?”

 

Yeah, Kyungsoo is ready to have his life deleted and move on to a new file to save it on. He can’t believe he’s caught in such a compromising state in front of Chanyeol’s _girlfriend_.

 

Moreso, why was Chanyeol even awake this early in the morning?

 

Is there a couple’s exclusive special going on at a restaurant nearby or something?

 

The first thing Kyungsoo has to do was to get out of Chanyeol’s durable arms and pat away the wrinkles on his workout clothes. Then he walks up to the girlfriend and greets her gingerly, “Hello, I’m Kyungsoo, the big red idiot’s friend.”

 

“I heard,” she spoke in a motherly tone, not trying to seem as rude or imposing to him. “Nice to finally meet you.”

 

* * *

 

A month following that incident becomes a turmoil between Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. It isn’t like he purposely wishes that he never met Chanyeol, but he came awfully close in doing in. It disturbs how invasive Chanyeol seems, notifying Kyungsoo that he never knew that the penguin-friend likes to do morning runs and should invite him to work out together, or that Chanyeol wants to come over to Kyungsoo’s place day after day, only to receive rejection at the door. Frankly, Kyungsoo’s running out of lies and excuses to tell to the sulking Chanyeol. He prefers to have the taller man over if he's honest with himself, but he can't stand for the life in him to have a three-hour discussion about his girlfriend at every standstill breath they get. Things just aren't the same as they used to be; it's not something Kyungsoo can stop or Chanyeol for that matter. Life is a tree which can't move on to the next stage unless it gets the proper nutrients to grow. 

 

Kyungsoo purposely goes out with a small group of friends to get himself out of the house. It also serves as another reason to not be stuck with Chanyeol at every waking moment. It’s surprising how someone can make your own home not feel like home anymore.

 

So, there’s Kyungsoo at a cheap barbecue restaurant that stays open until three in the morning. He's sitting in the corner seat next to Baekhyun, the person that invited him out, and Sehun that is across from him. Then there’s Suho promptly seated next to Sehun, and there on the opposite end of the table is _Chanyeol_. It’s not a giant table but isn’t exactly the smallest; it does what it needs to, so Kyungsoo can’t exactly complain about feeling cramped. Therefore, he avoids as much eye contact with the taller male because he convinces himself that it’s too much of a hassle to make a scene at a friendly hangout.

 

Catching a glance at his bronzed-hair friend, Kyungsoo saw a glimmer of sadness hang onto Chanyeol’s face before it gets replaced by a mask of happiness as Suho attempts to engage him in conversation. Coincidentally, as much to Kyungsoo’s disbelief, his eyes wanders subconsciously to the taller man, peeking, wondering if Chanyeol is as romantic as he thinks in his head, forming the irresistible ‘what if’ scenarios like they’re movies to be played on the projector.

 

One soju bottle—Kyungsoo could handle it without a problem, only smiling more than he usually would. He notices how Chanyeol drinks only half a bottle for himself, inputting a lot of his attention into the messages on his phone, a pained expression written across his face. Through Kyungsoo’s subtly pink face and warm cheeks, he ogles at Chanyeol involuntarily because the tall man seems to be laughing silently at the texts he’s receiving, frowning shortly afterward, shaking his head, and rushing the rest of his soju down his throat.

 

Two soju bottles—the bubbly feeling inside of Kyungsoo is stirring awkwardly, but he doesn’t care because he’s ultimately happier than before. He’s laughing hard about a joke that Baekhyun (or was it Suho?) cracks, so Kyungsoo’s gripping his stomach as if it is in pain and breathing erratically. Wandering eyes caught Chanyeol’s, they stare yearningly at each other, studying the movements of the other’s face to see if they would move closer, forgetting that they’re surrounded by their mutual friends.

 

A vibration on the table reminds Kyungsoo about Chanyeol’s girlfriend, so he looks away to Baekhyun swallowing a piece of brisket. There are things in this world to see that is a beautiful wonder to inhabit this earth, such as Stonehenge and Baekhyun’s vicarious hunger. No longer having an appetite, Kyungsoo takes a shot and another, and another, and eventually he’s halfway done with his third bottle.

 

“No, of course, I love you. I want us to work out. I—hello? Hello?” Kyungsoo’s heavy selective hearing catches Chanyeol’s voice on the phone. The sad puppy eyes on Chanyeol’s face gives away his discomfort despite being a fun environment. Slumping into the corner of his chair, the copper hair wipes his hands downwards on his face to stretch it, breathing slowly to calm himself. He openly drags the next bottle of alcohol to his mouth and gulps thick and loud. Suddenly as if it made everything sunshine and rainbows, Chanyeol’s back to his happy-go-lucky attitude.

 

It wouldn’t be long until Chanyeol irregularly goes in and out of the bathroom, saying something about taking a piss, but Kyungsoo knows it isn’t like that. Not at all. Kyungsoo excuses himself from the group, not like they were paying attention to the two missing friends over their robust giggling, and he stands by the bathroom door and presses his ear to the wooden frame.

 

“I know. Maybe we just… can’t love each other anymore? Maybe… this is the end, for us?” Chanyeol’s fragile voice breaks Kyungsoo’s heart into two perfect halves. He knows he isn’t supposed to hear any of this, acknowledging the tightness that is forming in his gut that he figures are nothing more than regret and betrayal.

 

“I, I, I don’t know wh-what to say. Thank you for putting up with me. Okay, goodnight… goodbye,” Chanyeol whimpers through half of his words, lost as to what to truly say, forming sentences that he never knew would hurt more than a snake’s venom coursing through his bloodstream.

 

Kyungsoo pulls himself away from the door, nervously and blankly looking at his shoes as he realizes that Chanyeol’s relationship is over. A loud smack echoed inside the walls, building worry into Kyungsoo’s weary heart. No warning as Chanyeol pries the door open and almost collides into the shorter man. “Oh, sorry, I ended up taking a shit instead, it’s all yours,” Chanyeol half-asses a smile while his eyes begin to get red and wet, but he really doesn’t want anyone to see him vulnerable. So he’s circling around Kyungsoo and heading straight for the table to reunite with their friends.

 

Kyungsoo looks over his shoulder to gaze longingly to Chanyeol. He follows up the other man’s lead, attempting to waste the night while he has a chance.

 

Cups clinking together, people effortlessly talking loud, and irritation swarming the pool of Kyungsoo’s stomach acids. Glassy eyes and meaningless laughter, threading upon a tightrope of love, Kyungsoo ventures cautiously towards areas that he knows he shouldn’t go to. Sehun takes over Kyungsoo’s seat without permission and insists that Baekhyun wants him to sit there as opposed to the awkward man. Suho already moved to Sehun’s seat, so it means the only available seats are next to Chanyeol or across from Chanyeol.

 

Ironic how the choices don’t seem to carry a lot of variety. And there’s where Kyungsoo is now, right across from the man that he’s deeply in love with. The same man that got his heart broken not too long ago in the bathroom over the fucking phone. Kyungsoo, whether it’s his intention or not, tipsily brings the topic of people breaking other people’s hearts through the phone or the Internet is cowardly and shameful.

 

It isn’t his fault that he is angry that the woman would do that to his best friend, but he also knows that he has no right to be angry in the first place. This is Chanyeol’s concern, not Kyungsoo’s. However, it becomes too late when Chanyeol bitterly laughs and agrees with Kyungsoo’s comment, slurring slightly, “I dun’t undarstud why we do tht to others.”

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo softly replies, poking at a charred piece of meat on the grill.

 

“I thunk I’m gunna puke. I, ah, shuld get going,” Chanyeol stands up wobbly, walking up to Baekhyun and shoving an unknown amount of money down the man’s shirt. He figures that Baekhyun will cover anything that’s missing and bring hell to him later on about ‘repaying your friends’ kindness.’

 

Unable to withstand letting Chanyeol walk drunkenly into the streets, Kyungsoo puts down enough money on the table for his share of the food and drinks and promptly leaves to catch up to Chanyeol. The atmosphere immediately changes the second Kyungsoo is outside, feeling the crisp air gently breezing through his face.

 

“Yah! Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo articulates, grabbing the taller friend’s attention while already a few feet down the street.

 

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol whispers, questioning if he is able to be conversing with his tipsy mind. Suddenly he bends over to the nearest wall and pukes his insides out.

 

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are walking beside each other, talking insistently about being cynical in their love life; there is no magic in the air that creates a romance between two people. There sure as hell isn’t anything about love at first sight, and even if there is, there’s the dilemma of _staying_ in love with someone. Kyungsoo laughs because Chanyeol states, a little too harshly, that when two people fall in love and hit the ground, they get up and walk away from each other like two strangers on the streets.

 

“Wah, did someone break your little heart?” Kyungsoo sweetly teases, a split moment of forgetfulness leads him to go sour in the face when he realizes that Chanyeol never told anyone that he and his girlfriend are over yet.

 

“Ye-hicc-ah, my now ex-girlfriend did,” Chanyeol spat the comment, acting like the words had a repugnant taste. He starts kicking imaginary cans, proceeding to make a fool of him with his long legs swinging unsteadily with each kick. A hand went down and up his spine, obviously Kyungsoo’s silent way of comforting the heartbroken man.

 

A brightly lit vending machine is up ahead, and Kyungsoo has an idea that they should sober up a little. He drags Chanyeol by the hands, locking his respective fingers with the other. Inserting his spare change into the machine, Kyungsoo looks carefully at the choices and tries to find a suitable energy drink for the both of them to have. Two hand slams hard against the strong plastic surface, one of which is smashing upon one of the options while simultaneously scaring Kyungsoo’s soul.

 

There are no onlookers yet Kyungsoo could feel judgmental eyes peeking at them in every direction. He is stuck in front of a vending machine while Chanyeol’s lengthy arms lock him in his position. Underestimating the distance, a haggard breath runs down Kyungsoo’s exposed nape. A swift coldness runs down his flaming body that’s raging with a buzz from the alcohol they consumed together. Kyungsoo patiently stands by, not trying to seem eager to close the dreadful distance, but he sees the glimmer of interest in Chanyeol’s saddened eyes along with the way he tilts his head while he _almost_ let his lips come into contact with Kyungsoo’s.

 

Drop! Bang! Bang… the drinks that Chanyeol tapped earlier came out. He goes down to pick up the two drinks and hands Kyungsoo one into his hand. “Cheers,” Chanyeol slyly smiles, giving Kyungsoo a horrid idea that maybe he was caught in his tracks and revealed the secret he was trying so desperately to hide. However, it’s Chanyeol, someone that is known to smile indiscriminately 99 percent of the time.

 

The two continues to walk down the street aimlessly. They aren’t actually on the way home yet because Chanyeol uses the excuse ‘I don’t want to be alone tonight’ to gain company. They already finish their drinks and recycles the fruity energy drinks.

 

A single drop of sheer cold wetness from the sky; it goes unnoticed by anyone. Then again falls. And another. It comes in threes then in tens. The tens become twenties, and twenties to hundreds. Rain shrouds the town in gray clouds, giving it a good pour to wash the dirty streets. “Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo utters, hoping his voice permeates the rain that’s slightly singing. He’s a little behind from the taller man, only seeing his great back and fashionable red flannel becomes stuck to his skin.

 

Chanyeol hesitantly stops and slowly turns his head over his shoulder, not putting in the effort to use the rest of his body. A cold posture accompanied by cold eyes that almost looks at Kyungsoo with disgust makes the shorter man uncontrollably tremble. Chanyeol’s ears subtly go up along with his eyebrows, inquiring to know what Kyungsoo’s about to say. “Ye-yeah?”

 

Uncertainty draws a line in his head, unable to depict what action is considered drunk and sober, Kyungsoo’s breaks the halves of his heart into fourths upon seeing Chanyeol’s dazed but melancholic look. “We’re gonna get wet, hyung,” he says uncomfortably as if they were strangers. It becomes a terrible time to realize that rain falling and drenching Chanyeol makes the taller frame look nearly as perfect under the moderate shower.

 

“Heh, yeah,” Chanyeol retorts a little too inaudible, but Kyungsoo blames the weather for raining so suddenly. A sign from god to tell Kyungsoo to give it up and go home properly. His eyes no longer bear to continue eye contact with Kyungsoo, says, “You’re right.” Then he walks further away as unconcerned for Kyungsoo like a baby penguin left by its parents.

 

Due to Chanyeol’s reaction, Kyungsoo quits trying to tiptoe on the tightrope and runs across it with his heart out of his sleeve. Besides, it’s Kyungsoo’s stupid comment that he’s in an awkward stalemate with his own best friend. Of course, they’re getting wet in the rain since neither of them brought an umbrella. However, after catching up, he walks steadily next to Chanyeol in silence, so the downcast of droplets seems to be talking more than they are.

 

Not being put in these type of situations a lot, Kyungsoo struggles to find something worth their time to talk about. It isn’t like he can bring up the meowing from stray cats as they hide from the sheer spell of water, or that his heart is speeding up the highway of anxiety and love.

 

Instead, Chanyeol breaks the unspeakable atmosphere with a clear, almost sober, voice as they wait at a crosswalk. “I can kiss her… from her lips down to her toes, but I can’t hide the emptiness it carries, the thought we are only evading the inevitable. We can’t cover up our fake smiles to each other with paint and hope it gives us a new picture with new meaning. I wa-wanted us to last, but I know forever can only… last for so… long.”

 

Kyungsoo nods, not knowing if it could be seen by Chanyeol or not, and hears the rain hit the ground multiple times. The sound of droplets bouncing off of all the cars around them as well as the roofs of houses and apartments. As if the rain was coordinating with Chanyeol’s emotions, it begins to pour harder. Kyungsoo’s senses are numb, unaffected by its cold and sadness that it carries.

 

“We were fixing something that we can’t understand. We made ourselves believe we’re stupid for not making it work between us, like asking a fish to climb a tree. Instead of cutting and retying the knot that brings us together, why… not simply cut the tie and slowly let it fall out of your grasp?”

 

 _Because we’re scared of what happens to us when we lose something we want to keep_ , Kyungsoo answers in his head, knowing his hoarse voice would only get canceled by the downpour. Perhaps it is better this way that he never speaks of his inner thoughts, promising himself that it can make or break their already unsteady friendship.

 

“I see it a little like Pandora’s box because once I open it, I can close the lid over it and reopen it again to only meet the reality that the box is empty,” Chanyeol goes off to walk across without caring that it isn’t the appropriate time to cross. He ironically turns around to Kyungsoo, spreading his arms like wings, smirking as if he almost knows what idiotic and pathetic move he’s making in front of his best friend, “If we mutually broke up, why does it still hurt badly inside?”

 

Kyungsoo’s mind begins to sober only by a degree, and he realizes that there is a small light shining from Chanyeol’s left as it slowly grows in size and enraptures the taller man in its fluorescent rays. His heart stops beating for two seconds, thinking quickly of what he has to do. So he runs speedily, hoping to make it time, hoping that god gives him a chance to play hero rather than become a zero. His footsteps and heartbeat match in pace, anxiousness impaling his guts like falling swords, and he reaches out to Chanyeol’s left hand.

 

A honking echoing as it approaches rapidly at him and Chanyeol. Kyungsoo believes in himself ( _A little more, please, a little fucking more_ ) and barely manages to grasp hold of the lanky fingers of his best friend and drag him with full-force backward. As they fall back into the sidewalk, the car passes and zooms through the street safely, wheels ripping through the wet hardened tar.

 

There’s where Kyungsoo is, lying down on his back flat, glancing up towards the raining sky as the gray clouds pass enough for the half-moon to shine brightly. Chanyeol’s a knee drag up along Kyungsoo’s groin while the other is straight on the concrete. Chanyeol’s face hovers over a little underneath from the moon to Kyungsoo’s vision. There’s disbelief lace in between the taller man’s expression, and Kyungsoo can’t blame him for it as his own wide eyes stare back at glazed ones.

 

It almost draws a painting in Kyungsoo’s viewpoint of Chanyeol—a man known to be incredibly stunning and happy to be transformed to a drenched, heartbroken, lost, and melancholic man. “Wow,” Kyungsoo’s first word escapes his lips, and he utterly feels like crying grossly after realizing how close his best friend almost _died_. It invokes an unbearable and overwhelming fear within Kyungsoo that if he stood there and watched, then Chanyeol would have really stopped functionally as a living being like the way his heart was broken. “You fucking idiot!” He roars louder than any sound the rain can block, thorns in his heart growing out to lash at anyone that comes to touch him in his softest, vulnerable spots.

 

Shit, Kyungsoo realizes the hurt on Chanyeol’s face, obvious by the scrunching of his puppy-like face and quivering lip. Kyungsoo beats Chanyeol to the waterworks, releasing his uneasiness and dismay into the other’s soggy black t-shirt, pulling the older man by the helm of said shirt. “D-d-d-do-don’t do that to me like t-t-that! Idiot! Fucking stupid! Shit!” Kyungsoo is unable to control his emotions like a damn collapsed and flooded the town of his pent-up feelings.

 

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Chanyeol holds Kyungsoo close, wrapping and sliding his extensive-in-length fingers through Kyungsoo’s black short hair. He lets the shorter man press close to his chest and lets him cry and sob it out, choosing to massage a little of Kyungsoo’s soaked back. “I’m… so sorry, Soo.”

 

They don’t talk, not like there is anything much left to say in their positions, and Chanyeol oddly sobers up enough to take an exhausted Kyungsoo to his apartment. Through shaky goodbyes and their ruined, wet clothes, Chanyeol leaves with dark thoughts of what happened earlier while Kyungsoo blankly closes the door between them.

 

* * *

 

Shortly after the event, a day or two at least is what he attempts to remember, Kyungsoo receives the biggest fever of his life. He’s bedridden again, but he’s far too dizzy and weak to be capable of doing something to help his health regain momentum.

 

Of course, he would catch a cold after being out in the rain. Only coming up now to slowly kill the penguin-like fellow like a disease. Additionally, it seems like the cold is overwhelming as opposed to being manageable. It surely wasn’t like this before, but he can’t argue now that it has invaded and consumed his body.

 

It times like this that Kyungsoo wished that he lives with his parents because at least someone was out to look out for him. It’s part of the reality he’s living—living alone and on his own, trying to make it out in this world. _Scary_ , he thought to himself, and he swears he opens his closed eyes and sees a white light flashing in his face. It looks like his time has come.

 

Oh.

 

Wait… it’s only the ceiling fan’s light that Kyungsoo is seeing.

 

False alarm; crisis averted.

 

His voice attempts to say a word, but it only cracks and sounds brittle as if sand could come out of his mouth at any moment given. Hot water or tea sounds extremely wonderful right now, but it also requires getting up from bed and making it himself. Not exactly in the mood to move an inch of his aching body.

 

Reminding of himself how he let himself get this ill, he involuntarily remembers his intense evening with Chanyeol. On the bright side, he can never figure out if his cheeks were flushing in red because he loves the giraffe-man so much or if it’s his fever picking up again.

 

In the quietness and stillness of his home, he hears the door unlock and timid yet audible footsteps carry itself over to the front of Kyungsoo’s bedroom door. Kyungsoo could care less if it’s a robber because he already is dying on the inside and out. If god wants him to go, then he will go without an argument. A mild knock echoes through, making Kyungsoo wonder what kind of robber would alert the people he is trying to potentially harm?

 

“K-Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol’s soft voice somehow appears louder than it should be.

 

Ah, the happiest of all viruses appears before him.

 

“I know you haven’t been texting anyone since the night we went out drinking with our friends, and you’re not updating any of your social media. So I’m worried if you’re still alive or something,” Chanyeol explains, sighs and breathes again before continuing to speak, “I also apologize for not letting you know that I know the password to your lock this whole time. I know you don’t tell anyone what it is and rather just let you unlock it for them yourself.”  

 

It’s only alarming to Kyungsoo a little that Chanyeol knows the password, but the whole time of knowing Chanyeol can only make Kyungsoo empathize that the man would know the password. Besides, it’s good timing for him to come since the sick individual needs someone to take care of him desperately.

 

“I would never break into your place unless it’s completely necessary, like if you are depressed and want to commit suicide, or someone harmful is in your house and you need saving.”

 

Obviously, that seems appropriate and Kyungsoo can’t argue that. He also realizes that it’s pointless to talk since his scratchy voice and throat won’t give him the benefit to doing so. Instead, he lets Chanyeol’s words ramble and become music to his ears.

 

“I also always wait for you to unlock the door for me, anyway. I prefer you being comfortable in letting me in rather than me invading your personal space.”

 

Is he becoming a sappy idiot? He must be because there is no way in every gate of hell for Chanyeol to _not_ get sick after being out in the cold that long. Maybe it’s true that only idiots can’t get sick.

 

“I’m going to come in, Kyungsoo, please don’t hit me,” Chanyeol gingerly says, turning the knob and pushing it with a light force, peeking his face from the side to reveal his exasperated face and weary smile. When their eyes meet, he mumbles, almost similar to a kid that is trying to get his parent to forgive for a mistake, “Hey.”  

 

Let the world open up and swallow Kyungsoo of his grief, his despair, and his misery. If all he does is push, then Chanyeol was his antithesis. A merry-go-round that Kyungsoo only wishes to get off and try out other rides. 

 

_Please don’t be so kind._

 

Kyungsoo’s screaming internally, trying to build his walls as fast as possible. He has to only slick and place one more brick before it’s complete. “You don’t look… good, Soo-ya,” Chanyeol’s by his side, caressing along Kyungsoo’s cheek as if it’s the world’s softest plush toy. Smooth, lanky fingers that remind Kyungsoo how much he craves this type of attraction, this intimacy. It only drives him off the ledge of the highway and falls into the ocean without too much attachment to the world.

 

 _So unfair._ _You’re so cruel, Park._

 

And like that, his walls explode into dust and rubble. It’s nothing left to crush except for his damaged heart that is he exerting all his efforts into protecting. Giving up his most prized possession, the pain that triggers his heart strings and cuts it all apart. Managing to get a few words out from his throat, Kyungsoo almost sobs, swallowing all forms of his petty, useless pride, “I can’t win.”

 

Chanyeol gives him an understanding expression, which vexes Kyungsoo and maybe even makes him feel the scrutiny. “What do you mean?” Using a below-average tone of speaking, something similar to talking to a hurt and lost puppy.

 

But Kyungsoo isn’t a puppy, or at least he won’t admit that he’s acting a lot like one. With only enough strength to shake his head to discontinue the conversation, he closes his eyes to let slumber heal his wounds and sickness.

 

Chanyeol has no choice but to accept and respect the decision, so he leaves the room momentarily.

 

When he returns to Kyungsoo’s room, which is a whole two hours later, he brings a homemade seaweed soup, rice porridge, and peeled orange slices to the nightstand next to the bed. He sits in the corner of the bed where Kyungsoo isn’t sleep and stares longingly at him. Before he realizes it, he’s been gazing for a while and embarrasses himself for his actions.

 

Kyungsoo seems deep in his sleep, so Chanyeol imagines that the last thing the sick friend needs is someone as annoying as him to be there waiting for him to wake up. Creeping past the bed, he’s at arm's length from the doorknob before there’s shuffling, murmuring, and subtle sobbing coming from the sleeping man.

 

“C-Ch-Chanyeol.”

 

He turns to see where his name is beckoned, and Kyungsoo seems to be still asleep but dreaming of something obviously terrifying. He rushes over to see if his best friend needs him, but he realizes halfway through the tears trickling down the other’s cheek and painful sobbing that his own heart is calling out Kyungsoo’s name like a madman.

 

Suddenly, Kyungsoo’s arms flying over Chanyeol’s body and cherish him warmly yet worriedly, crying deeply into the man’s shoulders as he begins to speak with so much conviction, “Don’t leave me, Chanyeol! I love you. I love you so much. I’m so fucking scared to be left behind by you!”

 

Silence barely can fit into the tense atmosphere before Kyungsoo is throwing sappy words all over again, “I can’t stand the jealousy in my heart when you have another girl around your arms. I can’t stand the hickeys on your neck, their perfume lingering on your clothes, the genuine smiles you send their way before you look at me with those same loving warm brown eyes, and for a split fucking moment, I believe _you_ can love _me_ in that way, too.”

 

“Ke-Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol breaks Kyungsoo’s focus, completely entranced by his bewitching voice.

 

“No,” Kyungsoo’s delivery falls to a mute and sinks to the bottom of the ocean, stuck in a whirlpool of regret and mistakes, laced in his face, in his fearful eyes, that he fucked everything up in a single moment in time. He pulls back, no, he rips himself away from Chanyeol and stands up from his bed as if there are nails engraved under the sheets, and the nightmare he was encountering became reality. He wobbles too much for Chanyeol’s discomfort of standing by, “No, no, no, no! Damnit! Oh fuck, shit.”

 

“Calm down, Kyungsoo, calm down, plea—”

 

“Please,” Kyungsoo isn’t having it, not when his eyes are sore, swollen, and red from the agonizing tears; not when his heart is unaligned from its usual lane. “I can’t. I can’t, Chanyeol. I-I-I don’t know what to do. I, just, can’t… not right now.”

 

“Just rest, you’re too sick, emotionally unstable, and barely can stand. I’ll go… leave this place and never come back if you want me to, just,” he pauses, wanting to strangle the rope over his wavering heart, “rest, please. It’s all I ask.”

 

“O-okay, just let me,” Kyungsoo shakily walks to his bed and sees Chanyeol’s hand as a gesture to help him reach his destination. But before he can take it, he holds his pride tightly once more, then he contently slides his hand over the other’s palm and lets it guide him. “Thank you,” he manages to say calmly, his heart still beating too fast for his cold to handle.

 

Chanyeol didn’t speak a word but smiles warmly instead. Once he tucks the shorter man, he closes the door to the apartment and walks away with a hand over his chest, checking his all-too-fast heart rate. Kyungsoo’s too restless to relax, and he turns his head to the side to see the food that Chanyeol brought earlier to his room. “You’re so cruel, Chanyeol. You’re too kind for me to completely hate you,” Kyungsoo states for the walls to hear, wishing secretly that it would pass it onto the taller man. As if the world pulled the biggest prank on him, Kyungsoo waits for the non-existent confetti to fall, waiting for nothing but reality to set in.

 

* * *

 

Kyungsoo ends up in a party that a bunch of his friends is throwing in celebration for a reason he can’t oddly remember at all. He only knows that he’s there in a random person’s house, there’s alcohol as ubiquitous as air, his heart is still broken because he misses Chanyeol, and there too many people inside of this cramped apartment for his own comfort.

 

It’s been a long week of no Chanyeol—no incessant and useless conversations, no food being brought over to his place when he’s lazy to do it himself, no careless laughter to fill his now godforsaken apartment home, and especially no objects that fall gracefully around the giraffe-like friend because he isn’t there anymore.

 

The sickness does pass over since Kyungsoo is at the party, not without the help and support that Chanyeol provided that day, though. Perhaps things such as this happen to people, and they have no choice but to accept that not everything goes in the way they would like it to come out to be. However, to prevent making mistakes that he will regret, he makes the personal choice to not drink to suffocate his sorrows.

 

What is there left for Kyungsoo to do? He sees through the crowds of people, wondering if there will be a raid by the police to stop the party, his friends that took him out drinking the other time. Baekhyun is already tipsy, wide eyes and mouth, as he jumps up and down to the beat of the pop song that is blasting.

 

Okay, no need to be hasty for company. He scans the audience to find Sehun and Suho conversing with two other women, probably flirting, in a corner next to the couch in the living room. It’s not really his concern nor interest to intervene them.

 

He sighs to himself and keeps put in the kitchen, which the party seems to be avoiding unless someone is needing to get more booze or snacks. Everyone wants to dance but Kyungsoo. Perhaps he could be enjoying himself, too, not trying to tense up when life pokes him in the back with a stick. He should be dancing and forgetting his troubles for a single night, but his mind can’t let him escape.

 

Despite being around social people, none of them approach him and ask if he wants to join, no one desiring to give him the extra push to do something stupid. It reminds him how much that was Chanyeol’s job, and he regrets letting his mind and heart cross paths. He hovers over the counter and drinks pleasantly at his -not so fizzy- soda.

 

“Why did I even bother coming?” Kyungsoo sighs, one too many times in a night, at the chip bowl and jumbles through it with his free hand. “Pointless. Troublesome.”

 

He’s glad in his own way that he’s alone in the kitchen because he would rather have himself be in a spoiled mood than to ruin another person’s. He could leave, quite truthfully, because no one is paying attention to him, and the party can still go on whether his presence is there or not. In retrospect, he doesn’t comprehend why he can’t just get up and go.

 

An hour or two, or at least it felt that way because Kyungsoo stopped keeping track a while ago, the air in the room starts to get musty, hot, and dense. It repels the wallflower to stand inside any longer, but the front door doesn’t seem as appealing to him yet, so he goes out to the balcony to get fresh cool air to circulate his system again.

 

Through the tight crowd, he finally gets to the balcony sliding door and pulls it to the side. It seems like someone’s already leaning over the ledge that prevents them from falling over the balcony. He closes the door and notices the person’s face is looking away from Kyungsoo. “Hello,” Kyungsoo tries to be polite to the stranger, but the other person flinches really strong, which sort of offends him because he hasn’t done anything to harm the fellow partygoer.

 

When the stranger turns their face, Kyungsoo realizes how much of a mistake it was to come out on the balcony. “Kyungsoo-yah?” Chanyeol’s baritone brings a sort of flowery feeling in his stomach before the petals get plucked.

 

“I-I’m sorry, I sh-should go,” Kyungsoo tries to excuse him from the dying embarrassment.

 

“No, stay, please?” Chanyeol manages to grasp the sleeve of Kyungsoo’s black cardigan. The bags under Chanyeol’s eyes and his frightened voice convey a hidden story that keeps Kyungsoo still where he’s at.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Thank you,” Chanyeol mumbles, letting his grip over the other man go, changing his attention towards the stars that are twinkling in the sky.

 

Nothing is said. Nothing is needed to be said. They stand in silence, appreciative silence, not trying to counter the other person’s move for once. A stalemate that they can peacefully enjoy.

 

Kyungsoo attempts to look at the same thing Chanyeol is gazing at, but he fails to keep his interest in it for long, for the real thing, or person, that he’s truly invested in is to his right. The same person that makes his heart go rabid, makes him into a frenzied person, and yet brings him the most serenity out of everyone. Dressed in a black and white custom-made jersey, which has his name on the back accompanied with a bulky number 61, over a black long-sleeve shirt, Kyungsoo could say that he definitively approves of Chanyeol’s choice. He also admires the quiff hairstyle and black ripped jeans.

 

Any color looks exceptionally good on Chanyeol, but something about black on the taller man magnetizes Kyungsoo like a moth to a high-voltage light. A rainbow is gorgeous but darkness always whispers the right words for Kyungsoo to be sucked in.

 

Too involved in their minds, the two fail to notice the crowd of people quietly speculating the interaction between the two behind the glass door. They mostly hid behind the curtains to not make their presence ostentatious but subtle instead. Whispers are going around them like a rumor in high school, and they snicker and leave one by one to let the two disputing kids settle things.

 

There is a lot of unanswered questions that he knows that Chanyeol is thinking, and Kyungsoo knows this because he’s thinking of them, too. He examines the facial features on Chanyeol, analyzing every movement, every taking breath, and even the seldom stroking that the man does to his adam’s apple. “Here’s the thing,” Kyungsoo gently breaks the ice, “I’m sorry, Chanyeol, for being unapproachable. I’m not used to being this exposed, but it still doesn’t excuse me being an asshole and not communicating with you.”

 

“Uh, huh.”

 

“You’re so involved in my life that I forget that I’m even alone in my home. You make my own home feel unwelcomed because I subconsciously made _you_ my home. And anywhere I’m not around you feels like I’m lost,” Kyungsoo cheesily states, letting his crazed heart to thump, hammer, and thrash against his ribcage.

 

“Ah, I get it.”

 

“Yeah, and I should stop running, stop incessantly avoiding you to hide the truth of my feelings from you. The truth is that I _love_ you, Chanyeol. For such a long time now. Maybe it’s time for me to move on from these unwilling feelings.”

 

“Of all the threats, insults, and short yet witty comebacks you make at me,” Chanyeol pauses, stares yearningly into Kyungsoo’s eyes, “I’ve never seen you open up so, so much about your feelings. Thank you for sharing them. I promise to return an appropriate response.”

 

“Ah, okay,” Kyungsoo states, not fearing the possibility of rejection or if there is disgust in the other’s irises.

 

“Actually, to tell you the truth, I’ve been thinking about you, in more ways than one.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m always attracted to you, and I can’t make a relationship with other people last because I keep coming back to you,” Chanyeol confesses, shrugging his shoulders like he isn’t painting the gray world that Kyungsoo’s used to with vibrant colors and hope. “Maybe these dormant feelings are only finally waking up because you’re always knocking on the door to set them free.”

 

“And you called _me_ cheesy?”

 

“Kyungsoo?”

 

“Hm?’

 

“Shut up,” Chanyeol comments with a loving smile, receiving an earnest laugh from the younger man. If it were any other time, Kyungsoo would like to pretend to beat the snot out of Chanyeol’s nose, but it fortunately was not those type of moments. “Kyungsoo?”

 

“What?”

 

“Can I… just confirm something with you?” Chanyeol sheepishly says, poking his index fingers at each other. A burning sensation runs along his cheeks, similarly like there is a match lit and is hovering over his face as he faces Kyungsoo. After getting a nod from the younger man, Chanyeol inhales deeply, “Can you please close your eyes?”

 

Kyungsoo almost wants to say no, unsure of how this can turn out for him and his speedy heart rate. He ponders over his next words, but he simply decides something, “Okay. I trust you,” and he closes his eyes slowly to let himself be exposed in a way he never felt before. Something virtually related to vulnerable.

 

Chanyeol gulps his pride, fear, and uncertainty and presses forward to plant his lips over Kyungsoo’s. They awkwardly stand still momentarily, then he’s confidently smoothing the friction of their lips to pool together a new warmth between them. Coming undone, the rope he strangles his heart with breaks. Nothing holds Chanyeol back from clamping, locking his fingers on Kyungsoo’s triceps and pushing him away from the ledge of the balcony to a nearby wall.

 

He loudly smacks one hand against the wall, scaring Kyungsoo temporarily before he returns to deepening the kiss. Chanyeol can’t contain the emotions that are bubbling in his stomach and making its way through his throat. Separating their lips, seeing how disappointed Kyungsoo looked, “I. Wow. I, uh, that was amazing,” he’s baffled on how something so simple and done redundantly seems brand new suddenly. No lust overwhelming them, but not platonic enough to merely label it as ‘just friends.’

 

A shower of colorful confetti peppers the view from the balcony, and Kyungsoo and Chanyeol seems perplexed at this and checks out from where it’s coming from. Directly above the apartment where the party is held, the partygoers that were supposed to be in the living room are crowding the balcony there and dropping confetti over the blooming romance between Kyungsoo and Chanyeol.

 

“Congratulations, you pair of idiots!”

 

“Don’t stop making out!”

 

“No, please, just stop. Go home and fuck or something!”

 

“You guys are too sweet. Also everything you said earlier is cliché as hell!!”

 

The mainly positive comments are snowing down on them in the same manner as the confetti filling the sky. Kyungsoo blushes as he’s held closely in Chanyeol’s buff arms. He chuckles lightly and taps his head against the other man’s chest, hearing the thumping-too-fast heartbeat. “Just when I thought I was tired of waiting for the confetti to fall, I feel like a happy kid all over again,” Kyungsoo whispers, only being heard by the taller man.

 

“Let’s get out of here, Kyungsoo-yah?”

 

“After you.”

 

* * *

 

It’s not Kyungsoo’s fault that he stumbles into his apartment with undignified respect for his neighbors. The trip from the party to his house was nothing but playfulness and enticingness, for it helps nobody that Kyungsoo’s hands are riding up Chanyeol’s jersey and clawing at the muscular build. Clumsily locking the door, the two make their way, not before bumping and tripping over a few things in their path, to the couch and fall on top of it with a thud.

 

Happiness doesn’t even describe most of what Kyungsoo’s feeling in those moments of pure bliss. Every butterfly kiss on his neck shocks his stomach tight. Every earlobe that’s slicked in salvia forces a strong moan from his body. He wishes that he was more experienced at foreplay to give an equal amount of pleasure to Chanyeol.

 

If Kyungsoo’s body is a piano, then Chanyeol’s definitively hitting all the right keys to get him singing. Matter of factly, there is heat coming from the grinding that their groins are doing to each other that Kyungsoo needs the air conditioner to shout its freezing air to their face to help mitigate the overwhelming feeling.

 

Black cardigan? Gone. Lost somewhere during the trip from the door to the couch. The white button-up Kyungsoo wore? It’s torn apart in a manner that seems eager and buttons disappeared into the crevices of the couch. “More, more,” Kyungsoo didn’t want to beg for it, but his mind screws him over.

 

A number 61 jersey flies across the room along with the shirt. Chanyeol holds down Kyungsoo’s waist and body rolls between the opening of his legs. “Kyungsoo,” the deep register shakes the shorter one’s heart. They begin to share a passionate but not-so-slow kiss while Chanyeol maintains his motion. An excited bulge meeting another more excited and overly eager bulge.

 

Their extremely sleek and even skin attempt to create a fire. “I’ll,” Kyungsoo motions jerking movements, “you. And you do the same, yeah?”

 

“Cute, so cute,” Chanyeol can’t help himself to say. He fumbles with his belt buckle while Kyungsoo attempts to promptly do the same. “Anything you say.”

 

Not wasting their time before their horniness reaches its zenith and falls, they both tug their pants halfway down their legs and let their freed dicks align on top of each other. Chanyeol thrusts upwards, letting his slit trace lines of precum down the shaft of the other. Despite Chanyeol being longer in length, he also admires that Kyungsoo’s own cock made up for its size by being thick in width. However, Chanyeol would have Kyungsoo in any way as long as he was Kyungsoo. He can only do these homorotic deeds effortlessly as long as it’s his best friend that he gets to do this with.

 

Serving enough precum to lube their individual cocks up, Chanyeol rests a hand over the heads of their phalluses and locks his grip to jerk them shyly. Kyungsoo uses his opposite hand that Chanyeol chooses to copy the same motion from the bottom half of their dicks. Regardless of the unevenness in size, they manage to cope a feel of rhythm.

 

“Let me—aah, that’s _good_ —just move a bit here,” Kyungsoo stops temporarily, sits his ass on the couch and somehow directs his body along with Chanyeol to be in a lotus position. He always watches porn and adores how this specific position creates a lot of intimate moments between lovers. It wouldn’t hurt to experiment and try it himself now that he has a partner to do _it_ with.

 

They continue jerking together, testing out different speeds for the fun of it, which Kyungsoo would like to point that he absolutely loves it when it’s swift, but they grow tired until Chanyeol has an idea to merely thrust his cock into the opening that his and Kyungsoo’s hand is making. The shorter man mimics the movement perfectly, getting an earnest sound from the taller one. “Shit, Soo-yah,” Chanyeol growls, something to add to the long list of things that Park Chanyeol does that turns on Kyungsoo.

 

Letting Chanyeol take control, Kyungsoo throws his arms around the neck of the other, pulling him into a much-needed kiss for stimulation. A tongue prods his mouth, allowing the slimy muscle to seek out whatever it's searching for inside of Kyungsoo’s mouth. It’s no surprise to him that Chanyeol’s tongue finds and beats his own. Still thrusting, Kyungsoo feels Chanyeol’s hands slither up to pinch gently at his nipples.

 

He doesn’t fear to be eaten, nor does he feel anxiety that he might make a mistake. Because being with Chanyeol meant that there is always going to be mistakes left and right, but it also means that Kyungsoo can responsibly take action to right his wrongs. Furthermore, he doesn’t freak out when he bites Chanyeol’s bottom lip harder than he should, watching the tiny amount of blood drip down the side of the other’s chin before having it scooped up by the red copper-hair’s tongue. Awkwardly standing by as the taller one tilts his head and leans close to kiss but to only tease the temptation out of Kyungsoo. He wants to say that it’s unfair to do that, but instead comes out, “I love you, Chanyeol. I really do, and it’s okay for you to not say it back. I’m in no rush,” Kyungsoo coos.

 

“How about we cum together first before we get all sappy?” Chanyeol jokes halfheartedly.

 

“Good idea,” Kyungsoo sheepishly states, pressing for another chaste kiss. A new taste of metallic embedded in the flavor. Letting their shafts collide again, Kyungsoo allows Chanyeol to masturbate them again. It doesn’t take long before he feels the whirlwind picking up in his stomach to the tip of his penis. “I. I am so _close_ , Chan—”

 

“Me too. Me too.”

 

Miraculously cumming at the same time, Kyungsoo swears he’s exactly in those weird mangas that Chanyeol sent to him of two guys getting it on. He can feel the flowery transparent background pushing its way through to make itself known while an acoustic guitar does smooth riffs through the moans. The white stains over the both of their chests and stomachs match so much that it brings a smile and laughter to the two men. “Let’s clean up,” Kyungsoo states painfully obvious.

 

“Kyungsoo-yah?”

 

“What?”

 

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my first ever Chansoo fic! I only like comments that appreciate my efforts or would like to point out helpful criticism and whatnot. I do not partake in any type of flaming. Those comments can disappear, so yeaaah~ I love all of you guys, keep being yourselves, better yourselves, be as happy as you want for yourself. Take care! :DD


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